Happy anniversary..

..to me. :P

7 years ago today I arrived in Sweden.
My life hasn't been the same since. :/ :))
For better and for worse.

In moving here, I gave up my life in the US. I gave up any career that I would have had, and friends and family, never knowing if I would see any of them again. I gave it all up to move to a small Socialist country that has a gray sky for at least a good 7 months of the year. To live in a place where I would have to learn a new language from scratch, start over my education, impossible for me to find work, and very difficult to connect with the people and make friends.

But I gained a wonderful Swedish husband that provides for me and is a fantatic father. :)

I've followed him all over the country, and back again. We've moved so many times for his needs of schooling and work. Once, in the beginning, we considered a move to Falun, for me to get my Masters degree in English, but that was short lived. We have finally "settled down" somewhere, even if we've only been here for 2 years and 4 months - it is the longest we've lived anywhere in a single town. Sometimes I get a bit jealous of him, that we've always moved around for his needs and never having to worry about mine. Also that he's gotten every job he's ever applied for, even rejecting some along the way, even rejecting offers that he never even applied for. While I send out masses of applications for anything I might think I could have a chance at, and no one even batting an eyelash in my direction. It can be a bit frustrating at times, and a bit disheartening.

I never even considered visiting Europe, especially Sweden, much less live here now for almost a forth of my life. :) Now I call Sweden home. Everynow and then it feels like I am on a prolonged vacation, and some days it feels like I have always lived here.

I face daily frustrations of not understanding people, or not being understood. Not sure of where my future will be (where we will end up) or if I will ever find work. I'm waiting for the day when Leia's level of Swedish will surpass mine. :)

Sometimes I think people on both sides of "the pond," as us expats call it, forget what it entails to move to another country. With the intent to live there forever. To leave everything behind, and everyone you know, to try to start a life in a new country, knowing only 1 person there. The type of stress and depression that can come along with it. The loneliness that can come along with it. Moving to another country can cause a person to lose their identity, to forget who they are, because they can not continue to normally be themselves. Personally I have become quieter and more reserved, not nearly the outgoing person that I was in the US.

Of course it isn't like that all the time! But it can be very trying at times. :)

I love my life here and I've experienced so many things that I never would have otherwise. I love when my parents can visit us and I can share with them so many things and places they never would have otherwise enjoyed.

I do sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had never met Fredrik and we wouldn't have stayed together during a very long distance 4 year relationship, and if I never would have moved to Sweden. But I don't like to think about it for too long, because I hate to imagine life without him.

Goodbye, Erik.

A few weeks ago, Fredrik's farfar passed away, his paternal grandfather, and Leia's great-grandfather. Yesterday was his funeral service.

The three of us drove 2 hours East to Örebro and attended his beautiful service. Of course it was an emotional day, but it was also very peaceful at the same time. Fredrik's grandfather, Erik, passed away peacefully in his sleep, in his own bed. I only hope to leave this life so simply.

How does the saying go.. "There is nothing like a funeral to bring about a family reunion.." ?
We were able to see some family that we haven't seen in many years and it was very nice to see them.

Leia behaved very well. We were pleased with her behavior, knowing that she could have been difficult to deal with. But she behaved and was a good girl. This was her 2nd funeral now, before even turning 2. (I was Leia's age, just having turned 2 years old, when I lost both of my grandfathers.)

As Swedish tradition, everyone pays their respects during the funeral service while walking past the casket and laying a flower, typically a rose on the coffin. Soon after entering the church, Leia's great-grandmother, Ulla, gave Leia a tiny bouquet of picked flowers, for her to lay as well. I was a little afraid that Leia would be uncooperative and decide to keep the flowers for herself.. But she did well and laid her flowers down. She made a flinch to snatch them back, as she desperately loves flowers, but she retracted her hand and left them for her great-grandfather.

Erik was a fun man to talk to, and he loved speaking with me in the English that he knew. :) Every time we would meet, he would tell me the same stories over and over again, and I loved listening to them. And no matter how many times Fredrik would tell him that I understood Swedish, he would persist in speaking with me in English. :)

We'll keep our fond memories and share them with Leia when she gets older.

Growing up so fast.

A picture of Leia before heading off to daycare.

And a picture of Mr. Kitties before heading off to daycare...... :/ :)






We're certain that she is going to be carrying around this cat until she's 35.

Overwhelmed.

I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by my classes.

Only my Swedish teacher is a aware of how a distance class works. Which helps. But she has us doing so much work, that I can't keep up with it. I have to read a Swedish novel and write a paper about it by next week. And that is just a tiny side-part of the daily work.

Then my English teacher, very sweet, but has no clue about how the Internet works (very old), or even what a distance class is, I think. She seems to be confused by most everything.

My Social studies teacher is completely crazy and is in her own little World. She has three different schedules of work to do, one of them is completely blank. The other two make no sense whatsoever. She seems to be completely ignorant to the fact that distance classes exist and that she is teaching one. She teaches at 3 different schools in three different towns nowhere near each other. I often wonder if she knows where she is and what class she is teaching.

I have 3 classes, and I have received only 1 of my 4 text books, and we are now 3 weeks into the term......
Things aren't going so well so far and I'm not really looking forward to the rest of the term.

Uncanny..

Fun in the park.

Thursday was windy, but beautiful! So Leia and I took a longer than normal walk home and stopped in the park to play.

Didn't feel like Friday.

Yesterday did NOT feel like Friday, and today doesn't feel like Saturday.

I had a migraine on Thurday and Friday and Leia didn't sleep at all on Thursday night. We decided that since we never give her her sleeping medicine (feel guilty about it); we decided to give it to her last night. She really needed a good nights sleep, as she we couldn't remember the last time that she slept more than a couple of hours in a row. And I really needed to sleep too, and get rid of my migraine.

She slept well last night, and it was needed for all of us. She got up at 5 and came and got in our bed and slept maybe at least another hour. I fell asleep last night on the couch at 21.30 and I really needed that, too. Fredrik let me lay there and sleep for awhile and then we went up to bed.

I've only gotten one of my books. :( Still waiting for the rest to arrive in the mail. So I've been trying to look at my Swedish work. I have to order another book, though for my Swedish class. I have to pick 2 novels to read, too. I'm starting to regret taking 75% study credits.. :/ Going to be tough I think to get through all the work. Although I always forget that Swedish studies go muuuuuuuuuch slower than they do in the US. The pace is just not the same. So I'm sure I'll get through it okay in the end.

This morning we went out and about in town, looking around and ended up getting some groceries. Fun to get out though. The weather is definitely Autumn. The weather stays around 13-14 degC (55 degF). And it is getting darker every day. The days are getting shorter and shorter. Almost every other day I have to change the time on the light timers, so that they come on when it gets dark.

Hmm...
Fredrik has gone down to 50% work time! He is taking pappa-leave.
So 50% of his work time he will get his full salary.
Then the other 50% time (the time he is off from work) he will get 80% salary from the government and then his job gives him another 10%. So for his 50% time off, he will still receive 90% of his salary. (The employer is allowed to pay 0-20% of the remaining salary, based on their own company policies.)
But it will still be a cut in pay, but worth it he thinks. :)

He can get some things done around the house and Leia can stay home and we can take some trips to the summer house.

His boss was very pleased and supportive. It will give the new guy, Axel, a chance to work in the area. He has been having to go down and work in Gothenburg because of the lack of work here.

He'll be starting next Friday and it will continue until the end of December. :) But if something happens that he has to go back to work more, then he can do that.

So he will work 3 days one week and then the next work only 2 days and then it will go back and forth like that until Christmas. So some weekends will be 4 days and some will be 5 days.
Pretty awesome, though, huh?


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So I've been writing on this a little bit at a time all day.. :P It is now 16.47 and Fredrik and Leia are out running around in the rain. :) She always walks down to the lake and walks out on the dock and they look at the boats and the water. She loves it! We'll be in the house and Fredrik will ask her if she wants to take a trip to the lake after dinner and she points out the window in the right direction and says "Där water!" (There water!)

:)

Lots of laundry today and trying to constantly teach Leia to put her toys away after she has played with something.

Lots of cleaning and straightening and throwing stuff away. We are constantly trying to get rid of things we don't use or aren't planning on using.

My parents will be here in about 24 days or so! :) We are looking forward to it. Fredrik and I are already planning to go away for a night or two by ourselves. :) They will be here from Sept 28th until Nov 5th. :) They will be here for all of our birthdays and Halloween!!! :)

We might also be lucky enough to have some company at the end of October! Our friends, Dian + Shawn, and their 3 children are hoping to maybe finally get to make a visit and see us! They hope to come spend the last week of October with us. :) So we have our fingers crossed that they will get to come and see us. My parents are the only US visiters that we've had. No one else has been able to make the long trip, so Fredrik and I are really looking forward to this.

My boss at Medborgarskolan has printed up some really nice fliers for me to put up around town here. We're still really pushing about having the courses. My Swedish teacher said she had seen the children's course, but her daughter is 5, and the course is for 7-9 year olds. I think she was a little disappointed. :/ :) But she was super proud when she looked at it and realized that it was her student that was teaching. :)

I met my Swedish teacher last week, btw!
I love her!!
She is so sweet and adorable. Very nice and easy going. It was so easy to talk with her, we got along really well!
She started out speaking veeeery slow and very easy words in Swedish.. :D And then I told her that I've been living here 7 years.. ;) Makes me a little curious as to how bad the Swedish is of the other students in her Swedish A and B courses.. :/ :))

Now I want to fold some more clothes and put them away.
Then a bunch of other stuff, too.. :P
More soon!

Mitt drömhus.

Okay, yes - so I've found my dream house.

Fredrik is extremely interested in it as well, as I found out that he drove passed it 2 weeks before I even found it. (Funny that he didn't tell me about the house, huh?) ;)

Even though he would also love to have the house, he is a little more reality based than I am. Not saying that I'm not realistic, maybe just more determined. :)

But here is my house, which Fredrik is certain will be sold to two Norwegian families, for about 3x more than the asking price:

You can see the house HERE for as long as the house is for sale. (The link will disappear once the house has been taken off the market.)

To see the larger version of the house pictures, click on "Alla bilder" under the constant changing house pictures.





I Love this house.
Actually, I think I am in-love with it.


Some house facts, since it is all written (of course) in Swedish:

Built in: 1875. The house is a converted school house. It was used until 2001 for this purpose until it was bought and renovation started. The windows have been replaced and renovation has begun on some of the house.
Rooms: 9 (not including kitchen, bathroom, or cellar)
Living space: 2110 sq. feet
Non-living space: 1400 sq. feet
Yard: 1.6 acres

Cost: 125,000$
(based on an exchange rate of 7sek to the dollar)

It is about a 15 minute drive for Fredrik to work. Smack-dab in the middle of his two other male workmate's houses.

I am so in-love with this house that I have inlisted the help of many, many friends to try to help me convince him that we should really consider a move. His main concern is heating, as the house is huge. But there are fireplaces and rooms could be shut off. There is a lot of renovation that still needs to be done, like the kitchen and probably the bathroom. The parts that have been updated are beautiful and there is no BAD renovation to work from. So what you'd have to work with is a good base, no bad taste or bad, puffy wallpaper that we seem to be blessed with in all of our homes so far.

Of course we won't get it, but I would give almost anything to have this house.
I have school, and some good job possibilities in the future, and we love Leia's daycare. I'm not sure we want to uproot (yet, again). But this is definitely the house we want. It is huge, which is what we need. We need the room. A house like this would finally allow me to ship over my belongings from the US.

I think I might have talked him into calling the realitor, though - so that we can go and take a look at it at least. If anything, I'd love to walk around inside and just admire it!

We'd have so much room for our belongings. We'd have tons of room when Mormor and Morfar come and stay with us. And my best friend, Carie, and her husband are both trying to get military transfers to Germany for them and their 3 children. How awesome for them to be able to travel and stay with us.

I love the yard. A nice fence. And then I was thinking of making a nice, smaller, white picket-fence inside the yard, a smaller area for Leia, where we wouldn't have to worry about any streets (which we still do where we live now). And who knows, the option of getting a dog finally arises.. ;) A nice beagle or bassett hound in the yard would be lots of fun. Beautiful trees where we can finally have a swing for Leia.

Ahh.. dreams..
Although, I wouldn't object to more taunting towards Fredrik.. ;)

Trötthet.

trötthet [²tr'öt:he:t] noun
fatigue


I've been so tired lately. :P I've been falling asleep on the couch for the last few evenings and then Fredrik has to drag me up to bed when he realizes that I've fallen asleep.

Leia wasn't feeling too well today we don't think. She laid in the couch today for awhile off and on.. head on a pillow, pacifier and kitty, and even under the cover. She was very tired. She has never done that before. That is the first time that she has ever taken a break on her own without us putting her to sleep. So we think something is bothering her, maybe her tummy (constipated) or her teeth are pushing through more.

She's a non-stop child. :) Only one time has she ever fallen asleep because of fatigue. That was after her 3 straight weeks of not sleeping after we got back from the US. She was sitting on the couch and playing with her blocks and she just fell asleep - hand still in the toy box. :) So that is good to know.. it takes 3 weeks of no sleep for her to fall sleep on her own.. :P

We're all doing well.. :P Rain, rain, rain and more rain.. :( Very little outside house work this past week. Fredrik did as much scraping as he could, but it rained too much for him to get on the roof and paint. And I've been painting the deck here and there during the few dry spells. So we spent some time trying to throw things away and stuff like that.

Fredrik goes back to work tomorrow. :( Going to miss him. :(
He is going to take more pappa-leave though. He has decided to take 2 days off a week. :) So he will only work 3 days a week then. He'll start in a couple of weeks. He did get plenty of work calls though this week (so he is never *really* on vacation).. :P But lots more work is coming in, so that is good. He might not have to go up to Norrland after all.

I've met with 2 of my teachers and I'll meet the 3rd one on Wednesday.

My English teacher was old but very sweet. :)
The class is late afternoon, so there is no way that I can go to it and she was a little sad about that. She thinks that I would be a good asset to the class, for the other students that is, with having a native English speaker in the class. I am still a little surprised that they let me get away with taking the class.. but anywho.. We'll be reading tidbits of novels that I analized to death at University.. ;) So I don't think the class will be much of a challange. :) But fun! I told her that it has been awhile since I've written anything in English with some substance, so I am really looking forward to it!

I made it to my first Samhällskunskap class (social studies).. and oooooh my gooodness....... I have NEVER had such a boring teacher in all of my life. After 26 years of schooling in two different countries, and possibly hundreds of teachers -- I have finally met the most boring teacher in existance.

The woman is.. kind.. but emotionless. She is very knowledgable and projects that knowledge well ....... but she is expressionless in her jestures and in her face and.... We sat there.. for like a good 80 minutes and just looked at each other. Each time she explained something (like how to turn the pages in a text book) she would go around the room and ask each person if they understood what was going on. It was so incredibly painful.

The class is at a local "high school" but pretty far from the house, so it isn't possible for me to get there, and definitely not possible for me to get to Leia in time afterwards. And thank goodness I have an excuse, because there is NO way that I can sit in her class. There are also others, thank goodness, that can't make it very regularly (others that work and/or have children).

Luckily I was sitting next to some very nice Swedes that kept me awake during the class. One also has a daughter, 1½ years old and she is married. The other is 24 years old. Both of them retaking the class to be able to continue to University studies. Both very sweet, I really enjoyed talking to them!

At our first chance, one of them turned to me and said, "So you are from the US?" (As I explained when we had to introduce ourselves to the classroom.) And she asked, "WHY are you in Åmål?!?!?!" :D They were curious as to where I was from and how I ended up in this horrible, little town. We talked a bit about Swedish university stuff. I was surprised by how open and nice they were, and how talkative. Maybe because they were younger than the other people that Fredrik and I have encountered here in town. Even if I never get a chance to talk with them again - I so enjoyed the chatting we had!

I will meet my Swedish teacher on Wednesday.

Thanks to my good friend Yamini in Nyköping, I saved 300sek (40$) on my school books! She gave me a tip about a sale that a certain website was having and I got a really good deal. The 3 books that I ordered would have cost me 900sek (140$), so instead I only paid 600sek (100$). Cool!

I am so tired.. :P I am using all my will-power and strength to not fall asleep right now.. :P

Leia's most favoritest thing to do right now is to color. ALL day long she has to "color." "Coloring" involves Mommy and/or Daddy writing the alphabet so she can say the letters. :) Or going through numbers. She is much more confident with her numbers. When she goes through her letters, she will look at me before she says it and then say it once we have eye contact. She does great with it.

Hmm..

Fireplace guy is coming September 14th! He figures 2 weeks to complete everything.

Ehh.. I think that that is it for tonight.. :P

Painting.

Leia has thoroughly been enjoying daycare this week. :) And I've been enjoying having Fredrik home. Like he said on Monday, it feels like he is playing hooky from work! :)) Cause it doesn't feel like he should be home, especially with Leia gone.

We are getting some things done though, around the house. We've been scraping the drainage pipes and gutters and today we finally started on some painting. Some bad news though, it is suppose to rain the rest of the week.. :( So we hope that it will stay away so that we can paint more. I also scrubbed the back stairs to the cellar, and they look brand new! I also did some finishing painting from last year on the deck. The metal stands for the deck railing was never painted when we moved in and Fredrik did a couple of coats on it last summer, so that it would just be painted. Today I put another coat on and they look fantastic. It looks so good that my project tomorrow, if it doesn't rain, is going to be to repaint the entire deck. :P

Fredrik will paint the last horizontal gutter and then also try to start scraping the vertical gutters. They are difficult to get to. If we get all that done this week, with time to spare, then we are going to do the last few coats of paint needed on one side of the house. Part of the wall has a few coats of paint, and half of the wall has maybe one coat of paint, and then it isn't painted at all near the gutters.. *sigh* .. The outside of the house is a uniform stucco, but it needs special paint and all that.. So surprisingly it is a much bigger job than scraping and painting the gutters.

Tomorrow I will meet with at least one of my teachers, hopefully all 3 of them. Then I will order my books and officially start my classes.

Leia's still not sleeping right. She didn't sleep at daycare today either, and this is what I found when I walked into the hallway, when tired babies don't sleep:



hehe.. :)

But no.. she isn't sleeping. She is pretending. :) That is her scrunched-pretend-sleeping-face. :))) But she did lay in the floor for a veeery long time in the hallway and I did think she was going to fall asleep.

Hmmm... *think*

I made some homemade rhubarb juice the other day! Turned out very well. It was just a little too thick after I bottled it, so we just add a little more water to it and it is very nice to drink!

So Wednesday and Thursday = cleaning and painting
Friday = funeral
Saturday = Going to the summer house to hunt blueberries with Leia. Also to start bringing back firewood.
Sunday = Not sure yet. :P