Happy anniversary..

..to me. :P

7 years ago today I arrived in Sweden.
My life hasn't been the same since. :/ :))
For better and for worse.

In moving here, I gave up my life in the US. I gave up any career that I would have had, and friends and family, never knowing if I would see any of them again. I gave it all up to move to a small Socialist country that has a gray sky for at least a good 7 months of the year. To live in a place where I would have to learn a new language from scratch, start over my education, impossible for me to find work, and very difficult to connect with the people and make friends.

But I gained a wonderful Swedish husband that provides for me and is a fantatic father. :)

I've followed him all over the country, and back again. We've moved so many times for his needs of schooling and work. Once, in the beginning, we considered a move to Falun, for me to get my Masters degree in English, but that was short lived. We have finally "settled down" somewhere, even if we've only been here for 2 years and 4 months - it is the longest we've lived anywhere in a single town. Sometimes I get a bit jealous of him, that we've always moved around for his needs and never having to worry about mine. Also that he's gotten every job he's ever applied for, even rejecting some along the way, even rejecting offers that he never even applied for. While I send out masses of applications for anything I might think I could have a chance at, and no one even batting an eyelash in my direction. It can be a bit frustrating at times, and a bit disheartening.

I never even considered visiting Europe, especially Sweden, much less live here now for almost a forth of my life. :) Now I call Sweden home. Everynow and then it feels like I am on a prolonged vacation, and some days it feels like I have always lived here.

I face daily frustrations of not understanding people, or not being understood. Not sure of where my future will be (where we will end up) or if I will ever find work. I'm waiting for the day when Leia's level of Swedish will surpass mine. :)

Sometimes I think people on both sides of "the pond," as us expats call it, forget what it entails to move to another country. With the intent to live there forever. To leave everything behind, and everyone you know, to try to start a life in a new country, knowing only 1 person there. The type of stress and depression that can come along with it. The loneliness that can come along with it. Moving to another country can cause a person to lose their identity, to forget who they are, because they can not continue to normally be themselves. Personally I have become quieter and more reserved, not nearly the outgoing person that I was in the US.

Of course it isn't like that all the time! But it can be very trying at times. :)

I love my life here and I've experienced so many things that I never would have otherwise. I love when my parents can visit us and I can share with them so many things and places they never would have otherwise enjoyed.

I do sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if I had never met Fredrik and we wouldn't have stayed together during a very long distance 4 year relationship, and if I never would have moved to Sweden. But I don't like to think about it for too long, because I hate to imagine life without him.